Forgiveness

In the last year, I've been given the opportunity to let people from my past back into my life. Several of them actually. These relationships were ended due to lots of different factors, some hurtful, others out of my control. With each new re-forming of the friendship, I've had to ask myself if it is worth it? What will I gain by being a friend to this person again? Will my life be better if I allow them to be part of my future? And, sometimes, I've had to ask the really tough question of can I forgive them for hurting me in the past? I found it useful to think about my current friendships. All of my relationships are very unique. I gain different things from different friends. They all mean something special to me, but are all very individual. I gain something from each of them by allowing them into my life and I hope the reverse is true. Every person in my life adds value, why wouldn't I want more? With these old relationships, I had to explore my feelings and in the process, I have learned a lot about myself. Forgiveness, when contemplated as it relates to me is useless. Saying, "that person hurt me, they deserve to suffer for the pain they inflicted" is very self-serving. I gain nothing with that approach. Instead, I've had to look at the pain and accept that it had nothing to do with me, but was wholly based on their experience and opinion. In "The Four Agreements" it says: Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do are a projection of their own reality". When that idea is applied to those who need my "forgiveness" it is easy to shed myself of the pain I have carried and move on without feelings of anger, sadness or insecurity. I know this is deep, but it's been on my mind for a while now. I am blessed to have my "old" friends in my life. Each one of them have helped me in ways that are deeply personal. I would have lost so much if I hadn't let them back into my world with open, loving arms. I believe friendships, like life, have seasons. Everything happens for a reason and I can't wait to learn the lesson associated with these exciting additions to my life.